making horrible trades - a humorous note, this reminded me of a friend who, as a kid, found herself with the short straw when it came to trades with her older sister. :) more seriously, it ties in beautifully to this concept of idolatry - something i've been thinking about more over the last couple weeks. it began during my study of 1 corinthians 10 where Paul warns the Corinthians to not be idolaters like the Israelites were. i eventually found myself sitting with the weight of Romans 1:21-23. what am I exchanging the glory for? far FAR too often us Christians identify the crap in our lives, we acknowledge it as wrong, yet we never take active steps to put it to death. granted, our sanctification isn't on us. it's solely by the grace of God that we are matured into deeper and purer love for him; however, I don't think that frees us from the responsibility of pursuing holiness in our everyday. so the question I tried to pose to my bible study group is the same question I've been dealing with of late. what are golden calves have I created (friends, family, relaxing, stress-free living, etc.), in what specific ways do those idols manifest themselves, and most importantly how (along with prayer and great humbleness) do I put to death my active idol worship. again, i believe seeing this as anything less than active idol worship is a diminishing of one's own sin. yes, despite my brokenness God loves me and calls me His beloved. i'm secure in that and that is what keeps me from freaking out over my own depravity. however, if i truly love God the way i claim they i have got to be in a full on pursuit of bringing him the utmost glory in everything i do (1 corinthians 10:31). This requires a change in how i live my life. A reshuffling of priorities. Decisions and actions need to be made and it's by God's grace that any change can happen. okay, that's as close to a real blog post that i'm going to get any time soon...
honest abe - haha, love the awkwardness!
soldiers return home - maybe i'm a sap but this completely wrecked me every time i watched it, i simply could not compose myself.
offering guy - this is becoming one of my favorite blogs to frequent. hilarious stuff!
saw this at my church last sunday. no one seems to know who put it up.
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some people have a job in the church. others invite themselves into a ministry.
what's the difference you ask?
if you are doing it just because no one else will, it's a job.
if you are doing it to serve the Lord, it's a ministry.
if you quit because someone criticized you, it's a job.
if you keep on serving, it's a ministry.
if you'll do it as long as it does not interfere with your other activities, it's a job.
if you are committed to staying even if it means letting go of other things, it's a ministry.
if you quit because no one thanked you or praised you, it's a job.
if you stick with it even though no one recognized your efforts, it's a ministry.
it's hard to get excited about a job.
it's almost impossible not to get excited about a ministry.
if your concern is success, it's a job.
if your concern is faithfulness and service, it's a ministry.
if God calls you to a ministry, don't treat it as a job!
Lord strengthen you servants and move us to a true sense of ministry and service through your grace and mercy. amen.
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and i would add...
"if you're doing it for the money, it's a job.
if you're doing it despite the money, it's a ministry."
I've wanted to write another blog for quite some time now and I simply haven't, until 20 minutes ago when I decided that tonight was going to be the night I wrote. No matter what, this was my highest priority and nothing would get in the way. I'm on a mission and neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor hail can keep me from it.....and then I remembered I needed to do laundry.
Hi, I'm Tom and I'm the poster child for ADD.
...and then i started looking up pictures that convey ADD which further distracted me...it's like something doesn't want me to write!
The phrase "my sin is always before me" has been on my mind over the last couple months. Oh no, not SIN! Ugh, what an ugly word, not to mention a sure fire way to bum someone out. It's such a downer. It's a word that immediately brings to mind the legalistic Pharisee that is so caught up in rules and finger pointing. This is a philosophy that absolutely makes me burn within - when I see the truth of the gospel being perverted by burdensome, heavy yokes. Ooh, two new posts titles just came to mind: "the gospel pimp" and "the gospel pervert"...but alas, those are for another day. Even though that word leaves a foul taste in my mouth, I find myself repeating the phrase over and over to myself. It's from from the third verse in Psalm 51 (my favorite passage of Scripture) where David cries out to God acknowledging himself as someone who has rebelled against God. My sin is always before me. When I repeat those words, it's not because I'm crippled by this overwhelming sense of guilt, thinking that I can never do right by God. Well, that's sometimes the case but not usually. Thankfully I embraced that truth several years ago when those "you'll never be acceptable" thoughts were really messing with me. Paul puts it like this,
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2, ESV)
So then God after breathing life into my limp premature body, after sparing mother and child nearly 27 years ago, after witnessing my current rebelliousness against him, after knowing all to well my future inclinations to spit in his face...after all that, he's still wants me on his team. Therefore, it is not I am acceptable, but Christ on my behalf is acceptable. That sacrifice where God became man (the implications of this alone are huge) to pay the penalty I never could. He literally gave his only Son, his pride, his joy, his love to pay that price. There's freedom living in the shadow of that truth. Wow, that's not where I intended to go with this post, but it's foundational to how I deal with "my sin is always before me."
When I think on those words by the Psalmist it's not guilt that comes to mind but rather it's frustration. It's when I remember who I am and realize what I just thought, said or did. It's a frustration that stems from the recognition that I'm not who I ought to be or even who I want to be. I daily disgust myself with the thoughts that come to mind. "How could I have just thought that!" I know my position is secure and I'm fully aware that my practice still has a way to go. Paul repeats this all through his first letter to the Corinthians. You're kids of God, live like it! My constant struggle to "live like it" is what frustrates me. It's those words from David's statement in this Psalm that serve as a reminder to me that I don't have it all together. I'm not as squeaky clean as I tell myself or as I let on. Again, this isn't "i'm going straight to hell" guilt but rather a heightened awareness that I'm quite accident prone and in daily need of direction. Eugene Peterson does a solid job of capturing the essence of Romans 7:14-23:
What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
Why did David's words keep coming to mind? Over a year ago I began my fascination with John 15, namely where it talks about abiding in the vine. What does it look like if I were to really abide in Christ? I conceptually understand that phrase, but felt convicted that my understanding was a fraction of Jesus' intended depth. Obviously. I'm still sitting on that phrase, but from there I began to wrestle with a new idea. Grace and mercy. I mean, if I'm going to abide in Christ I can't help be abide in his grace and mercy. Again…I understand it but what else is there to it? Here I am, excited about soaking in the awesomeness that is God's love as shown through his mercy and grace! I'm ready for that encouragement. I ready for that warm fuzzy feeling! My sin is always before me. This sucks. Why couldn't I stick with grace and mercy? Or why couldn't I move to other feel good church words like hope and joy? Then in hit me. My plea for a deeper understanding of grace and mercy was being answered! There's no way I can even begin to view grace and mercy with the correct lenses without realizing the depth of my sin. It's my sin, my inability to keep God's standard that was the crime. The punishment for this crime, by definition, had to be death. By God's mercy he chose not to pour out his wrath on me. By his grace, he chose to allow his beloved to be nailed to that cross.
God, please forgive me when I view my sin as too messy to wrestle with. When I choose to sweep it under the rug. When I rather focus on the fun parts of being a Christian, while frequently denying my brokenness that led to Calvary. Help me to see my sin as you do, not as the Pharisees do. Help live in freedom as you defined it, not as my world is redefining it.
I'm still dealing with the weight of all of this. My thoughts are scattered and my understanding is still being developed. That will always be the case. However, the one thing I know is that a proper view of my sin is leading me to a proper view of God's love. Where there is not a healthy balance between sin and love, you have the extremes of legalism and license. So, despite the ugliness of sin and even though we live in a time where it's not cool to talk about that sort of thing, I cannot be shy of the word or its implications. My sin leads to God's love. A simple but sometimes forgotten and frequently undervalued truth. I once was a certain man captive to the word and it's master. No more. I still deal with the consequences of life under that former master. I still wear the scars of abuse from that relationship. The memories of old still haunt me now. In all that my reassurance is this: I have been made into a new man purged with hyssop and washed whiter than snow. (Psalm 51:7)
One final note, it's been nearly a week since I began writing this post. As I mentioned earlier, I started amidst distractions of laundry and Google images of hyperactive screaming children. I let the words and thoughts come to me over several days and then Saturday night I sat down to finish off the post. After a couple hours of writing on Saturday, I hit Save only to find that technology hates me and I wound up losing most of what I had written that day. I spent all day Saturday heavily meditating on Psalm 51 and the truths I've been learning, writing bits and pieces as I went! It's amazing how one second you can be so excited about sharing something on your heart and the next second you can be screaming at WordPress for it's failure to periodically save. I'm pretty sure I didn't recapture everything I had written on Saturday. Maybe it's current state is where God wants it to be? I'm not sure. I am certain that after huffing and puffing Saturday night, after shutting down my computer in discouragement, I had a renewed sense of determination that I was going to finish writing this blog. Something, perhaps that former master, was trying to distract me long enough and make me upset enough to keep me from following through. Not going to work!
I went to bed last night expecting today to be just awful. I was away from the office for the last five days. I left last week amidst chaos. It's only natural that I return to chaos. I woke up today fully expecting that. So the first thing that came to mind this morning was this prayer "Give me today, what I need today, to get through today" a la Matthew 6:11. Give me strength. Give me food. Give me endurance. Give me grace. Give me patience. Give me emotional fortitude. Give me clarity. Give me reprieve from discouragement. Give me You. I must've repeated that prayer out loud a few dozen times before I even left the house this morning and a few more times in the car for good measure. Today was going to be brutal and I knew there was no way I was making it through the day in good spirits if God didn't show up.
I got to work, booted up my machine, plugged in my headphones and hunkered down for Monday. Well, late morning rolled around and no fires! No salesmen flipping out because we can't deliver the unicorn fairy dust they promised customers. No well intentioned bosses breathing down my neck. Thankful.
I'm pretty confident that God showed up in this relatively minor aspect of my week and today decided to go easy on me and make the work day bearable. No, it wasn't all gravy but it was all the broth and flour goodness I needed for this day. Not to mention the great music I found floating in my gravy laced Monday!
Beautiful Scandalous Night (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-zJjNucGqQ)
Alive Again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSTaVmDQP5s)
That music was just what I needed to get through today. There is no guarantee that tomorrow will be as pleasant as today (I pray that it is!) however I am confident that despite what may come, I will be equipped with all I need (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) to get through Tuesday.
When writing I am burdened by the need to organize my thoughts in a coherent manner. On this day of rest I feel compelled to share with you all some thoughts that have been on my mind. Rather than collecting all my thoughts and taking the time to write them all down, I figured I'd share the sources that have got me reflecting.
I've been considering the concepts of submission and trusting that God has orchestrated the difficulties in my life for my eventual joy. It's a tough pill for me to swallow. One that requires less of me acting and more of me believing. Granted there is a balance. (moderation: another reoccurring theme...for another day) There's a time to wait and believe expectantly. There are times where God opens a door or nudges us down a path and that's our cue to take a few steps in confidence that He's doing something.
How easily do we fall into the role of the "referee" in the church setting. Where men and women pour out the hours of their lives for the sake of the Gospel, we sit in the stands and judge how they do it. These men have been put in authority for a reason. What are we doing to correct, build and encourage? Are will love filled and graced drenched when we interact with them? 200909061900HWC21ASAAA_MattChandler_ALittleHousekeeping.mp3
The concept of submission is not a popular one in our day especially when it comes to the role of husbands and wives. The very notion of forgoing one's desires or instincts for another's is so incredibly counter cultural. There's great fear and deep wounds that make this idea a huge struggle. From a guy's perspective: submission is a scary idea for us as well. That's a whole lot of responsibility on our shoulders. I don't want to lead wrong. What if I make a poor decision? What if I don't do it well enough? My lack of faith makes me think I need to have it all together. I should believe that I've bee given what it takes everyday and that I am covered by grace. I just need to submit. When I submit that burden is lifted off of me and off of those that might be looking to me. There are a host of other articles that speak to this idea, but I'll leave it to you to dig around for them. http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002147.cfm
The other day, I was trying to broaden my horizon with regard to sermons that I listen to and came across this one by Francis Chan, author of "Crazy Love." (good book, still in progress) His sermon discussed this topic of submission but more from the perspective of showing grace...even when it wars against us. The title is "Slow Down and Show Grace." The title alone is heavy. Why are those two things so hard to do? Seriously, this isn't a rhetorical question. WHY? ...and don't just say sin. What sin? For me this is currently being exposed and the fixing process has begun. http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/special/media_player.html (The sermon is dated 10/04/09)
Anyways, this is just a collection of a few links that over the last several weeks have been knit together for me by the concept of submission and having the faith to believe. I did way more writing for this post than I intended and I still haven't fully collected or written all my thoughts. I'll leave that to you if you care to listen/read the sermons and articles. I'd be curious to hear your thoughts.
I was challenged by the words in Genesis 32, where God asks Jacob for his name. Why did God ask that of Jacob? The name Jacob means "deceiver" or more literally "one who supplants." A fitting name because that's exactly who he was. That is, until he wrestled with God that one night when he found himself alone, scared and desperately seeking reprieve from the uncertainty swirling around him. It was after that match that his walk began to change (literally, what with the crippled thigh) and the transformation from Jacob to Israel began. The old name that defined him by his sin was being exchanged for a new one that defined him by his experience with God.
So I began to think, What's my old name? What sins have I been captive to? What sins have kept me from fully experiencing God? As Christian I am no longer fully captive to sin, but there are aspects of my old life that I am foolishly clinging to. There are aspects of me that are still called by their old names. Not because of my will power or determination but rather by grace alone my grip on the old is loosing and names are being changed. His grace is perpetually and consistently extended in the midst of my current struggles.
Maybe the reason Jacob was asked his name is because that is exactly what he needed to be asked. It wasn't until Jacob spoke his name and acknowledged the old that God gave him a new name. That has got to be a humbling experience having to admit, "My name is deceiver." At that moment, Jacob the long time proud became Israel the work in progress humble.
What's your old name?
What sins are you captive to?
What sins are keeping you from fully experiencing God?
Lust? Anger? Jealousy? Insecurity? Anxiety? Control? Selfishness? Power? Hatred? Bitterness? Envy? Vanity? Self-righteousness?
cobbler
The news of Michael Vick's return to the National Football League has been the buzz nearly everywhere for the last week or so, and has taken a life of its own since Thursday when the Philadelphia Eagles signed the man to a two year deal. My thoughts on Vick were less than glowing prior to his incarceration, and after he found himself in a heap of trouble for dog-fighting I really lost what little respect I had left for him as a person. There are some people you just don't like. Michael Vick is one of those people in my eyes. That's my sin and I need to rid myself of that. At the start of his animal cruelty legal woes he claimed to have become a Christian. In his words, "I'm upset with myself and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God..."
I'll be honest, I heard those words and I had a hard time believing him (still kind of do). When I first read that statement I questioned his sincerity, after all those words themselves are so very generic. If he used words like "transformational power of the cross", "sacrifice", "broken" or "humbled" I'd be more inclined to believe the guy. ...and therein lies the proof that I sometimes act like a self-righteous (yes, a bit legalistic) jerk. If only he spoke Christianese better, then I'd be able to buy into his finding Jesus claim. He could very well be lying through his teeth about being a changed man, but I'm convicted of how quick I am to judge that faith by measures that exist nowhere in Scripture.
This guy has a past riddled with "dumb"...there was the Ron Mexico ordeal, then the weed water bottle fiasco, his idiot kid brother Marcus, more weed issues... Just not what any semi-classy person would consider a role model. Then there was the dog fighting stories that made life for Michael Vick rather unpleasant. The things he did to those animals is just horrendous. He gave consent to have them hung by trees. He allowed them to be electrocuted. All because they didn't perform well in the fights. It's disgusting.
My natural reaction is to say: once a savage, always a savage and condemn him for ever. However, the idea of grace has been messing with me for a while. I way too often choose who is worthy to be shown grace. Since I profess to be a Christian I am called to reflect God's love and grace to others. I don't reflect that love and grace very well. I am taking a step to extend grace. I sincerely hope his claims are genuine. I hate to look like a fool, but if that's what happens so be it. He has a good man in his corner, Tony Dungy. Dungy's a man who has exemplified what it means to be a Christian man in a fallen world. He seems to believe that there is some part of Vick that desires to put off the old. My Philadelphia Eagles, an organization that has made such a strong stance on character, is sticking their necks out for this guy. My fellow fans are torn, but I'm pretty sure most will get behind him if he performs on and off the field. There are a lot of people invested in him right now. There's a strong possibility that he makes us all look dumb for giving him a second chance, but as Christians we're called to look dumb because the concept of grace and of unmerited love are so foreign to this world....it's bound to look like foolishness.
Do you despise Michael Vick? Do you feel he is unworthy of a second chance? Or a third chance? Or a fourth chance? Is there any end to the number of chances God gives us? There was that time you spat in His face and yet he didn't fry you to a heavenly crisp...there was discipline and another opportunity to try again.