When writing I am burdened by the need to organize my thoughts in a coherent manner. On this day of rest I feel compelled to share with you all some thoughts that have been on my mind. Rather than collecting all my thoughts and taking the time to write them all down, I figured I'd share the sources that have got me reflecting.
I've been considering the concepts of submission and trusting that God has orchestrated the difficulties in my life for my eventual joy. It's a tough pill for me to swallow. One that requires less of me acting and more of me believing. Granted there is a balance. (moderation: another reoccurring theme...for another day) There's a time to wait and believe expectantly. There are times where God opens a door or nudges us down a path and that's our cue to take a few steps in confidence that He's doing something.
How easily do we fall into the role of the "referee" in the church setting. Where men and women pour out the hours of their lives for the sake of the Gospel, we sit in the stands and judge how they do it. These men have been put in authority for a reason. What are we doing to correct, build and encourage? Are will love filled and graced drenched when we interact with them? 200909061900HWC21ASAAA_MattChandler_ALittleHousekeeping.mp3
The concept of submission is not a popular one in our day especially when it comes to the role of husbands and wives. The very notion of forgoing one's desires or instincts for another's is so incredibly counter cultural. There's great fear and deep wounds that make this idea a huge struggle. From a guy's perspective: submission is a scary idea for us as well. That's a whole lot of responsibility on our shoulders. I don't want to lead wrong. What if I make a poor decision? What if I don't do it well enough? My lack of faith makes me think I need to have it all together. I should believe that I've bee given what it takes everyday and that I am covered by grace. I just need to submit. When I submit that burden is lifted off of me and off of those that might be looking to me. There are a host of other articles that speak to this idea, but I'll leave it to you to dig around for them. http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002147.cfm
The other day, I was trying to broaden my horizon with regard to sermons that I listen to and came across this one by Francis Chan, author of "Crazy Love." (good book, still in progress) His sermon discussed this topic of submission but more from the perspective of showing grace...even when it wars against us. The title is "Slow Down and Show Grace." The title alone is heavy. Why are those two things so hard to do? Seriously, this isn't a rhetorical question. WHY? ...and don't just say sin. What sin? For me this is currently being exposed and the fixing process has begun. http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/special/media_player.html (The sermon is dated 10/04/09)
Anyways, this is just a collection of a few links that over the last several weeks have been knit together for me by the concept of submission and having the faith to believe. I did way more writing for this post than I intended and I still haven't fully collected or written all my thoughts. I'll leave that to you if you care to listen/read the sermons and articles. I'd be curious to hear your thoughts.
Back in the day there was this guy named Saul. Saul was the kind of guy you did not want to piss off. If the mob was around in those days, our boy Saul would probably be one of just a handful trusted confidants around Vito Corleone. He wasn't the Don, but he was up there. Saul took pride in taking care of business - no emotions, just do it. What was business, you ask? Business to Saul was killing or imprisoning Christians. This cat didn't mess around. If Myers-Briggs was around back then he'd probably have many characteristics typical to the NT temperament.
So the story goes that Saul was on his way to Damascus when he was confronted by Jesus in the form of a literally blinding light. Dude gets called out for killing Christians by the Christ himself and on top of that he goes totally blind. I'm willing to bet that he messed himself a bit on that road to Damascus. That's embarrassing when your in kindergarten and all they have are saloon doors between the classroom and bathroom. It's so much worse when you're a well respected and feared leader in the Jewish community. Anyways, Saul cleans himself off, gropes his way to Damascus, gets healed of his blindness, yadda yadda yadda, goes against "the family", turns from his life of knocking off Christians, becomes a Christian himself and changes his name to Paul.
So here you have Saul turned Paul, eager to share the new truths that he has learned, trying to get in with the apostles...the very apostles he was tormenting just a short while ago. Needless to say the apostles weren't exactly jumping up to embrace Paul with open arms and manly bear hugs. They were skeptical in believing that Paul could be the good guy that he now claimed.
Enter: Joseph. Well, that's what his mom called him. His coworkers called him Barnabas, which means "son of encouragement." His close pals probably just called him Barney. Barnabas was a church teacher in Antioch who was the kind of guy you just liked to be around. You could say he was pretty close to an NF temperament in terms of personality types.
Barnabas stood up for Paul, took him under his wing, encouraged him and gave testimony of his genuine conversion to the apostles. Barnabas spoke. The apostles listened. Done. Paul was welcomed in.
It so happened that Paul and Barnabas grew to become close friends as they worked and traveled together. After some time, Paul and Barnabas, decided to loop back around to all the villages they had visited earlier to check up on folks to see how they were doing.
Barnabas felt compelled to take a guy named Mark with them on their trip. Paul wanted nothing to do with Mark because on a previous trip Mark had apparently deserted them. Paul didn't trust this kid and did not want him traveling along with them. Both Paul and Barnabas felt strong convictions on this issue of Mark and whether he should be taken along on their journey. Neither man was budging. Their disagreement reached such a critical level that they finally decided they were not going to see eye to eye on the issue. Barnabas took Mark and went on to Cyprus, and Paul took Silas and traveled on to Syria and Cilicia. This story doesn't end on a bummer note because years later, we learn that Paul writes to Timothy asking him to bring along Mark with him because he was useful to Paul for service. Paul, the one time anti-Mark apostle, specifically requests Mark realizing his value.
This whole account is just fascinating to me with regard to disagreements among Christians. As Christians we live our lives with a purpose - that is to give honor to the God who created us. This means every problem should be considered through prayer and through Scripture to discern whether the proposed solution would fall in line with that purpose.
We know that Paul and Barnabas were both solid Christian dudes who lived out that purpose to bring honor. We have no reason to doubt that. We can also infer that when they were faced with this disagreement both of them diligently prayed about it seeking God's will on the matter.
For Barnabas, the situation with Mark was one where he could strengthen, encourage, nurture and restore Mark just like he did with Paul in the early days of their friendship. Barnabas and Mark were also cousins, so I imagine they got along rather well. I'm guessing that friendship had something to do with Barnabas' desire to bring Mark in the first place. The restoration of one sincere Christian was a high priority to Barnabas and was worth the challenge.
For Paul, nothing was of greater importance than preaching. If Mark jeopardized that mission in any way, he was not welcomed. Paul appears to have no interest in taking on the burden that young Mark might have posed. Paul hesitation was understandable given the way Mark acted in the past by bailing out on them. Why deal with the hassle when I don't have to.
Why did these two men reach two very different conclusions?
Could it be that they were being led in two different paths for a reason?
So often, we think that there is only one right path to take if we want to do God's will. What if there is only one right destination but multiple paths to get there. While on these separate paths, what if we are taught and eventually led to the same final destination.
Could the Spirit propose two very different solutions to the same problem: solution 1 for person 1 and solution 2 for person 2?
Are there other examples of the Spirit leading two individuals in separate ways?
What are your thoughts?
Relationships.
...and people's ears perk up. I'm not only referring to dating/marriage relationships, but rather the daily interactions we have with the people that have been placed in the world around us. Coworkers, Family, Friends, Spouses, Strangers, God - they're all essentially relationships just with varying degrees of allowed vulnerability. A common thread across each of these types of relationships is the act of communication between ourselves and the other party. Given that we are civilized folk we communicate within these relationships primarily through our words. It is often said that 90-some percent of communication is nonverbal. I agree. That said, I don't believe that the significance of our words can be downplayed. For example, I can't greet a stranger with a warm smile and loving embrace and then proceed to declare, "You're exactly what's going wrong with our beautiful land you untamed brute!" That kind of sends a confusing message and I imagine my blunt words would likely take precedence over my charming smile and man hug.
I should note that there is something strangely intriguing about wordless messages - communicating exclusively with sounds and grunts. For example, growing up whenever I was asked if I wanted more of something for dinner I'd usually respond by sucking my teeth. It was my way of saying "No, I've had enough" without actually saying those words. Okay, so maybe some of us are less civilized. It's not my fault...I learned it from my Dad! But, I digress...
In Genesis it tells of how God spoke the Earth and all of creation into existence. Those were some intense words. The 10 Commandments were words spoken by God. John 1:1 even refers to God was the Word. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." It's everywhere in Scripture and I don't think that's a coincidence. There's something significant to the concept of words.
Real Time: I just sucked my teeth again when asked if I had eaten any breakfast. I didn't eat yet. Yep, still a savage.
Our words are capable of creating and destroying, encouraging and tearing down. It shames me to think of how often I use my words without thinking about them first. Often times, it's blurted out unintentionally in the moment. On occasion I realize it as soon as the words leave my mouth. Other times I'm so dense that I don't know how hurtful I've been until I get called out. How thankful I am for folks around me willing to call me to the table on the things I say! Serious conversation, hearts exposed, I hear something funny, I blurt it out, damage is done. I end up facing palming and wondering how I could be so numb. I've found that at times my well intentioned sense of humor has gotten me into a precarious situation where I find myself trying to mend the wounds that my words had caused. I suppose it's just another example of how something good, like humor, if not kept in check can turn into something very destructive. The words we allow out of our mouth can leave deep scars that may never fully heal. We must tame the tongue so that it might not become that penetrating double edged sword.
I think another often overlooked aspect of our words are those that are not spoken. I am especially conscious of how the lack of positive dialogue towards young, wannabe certain men can be particularly harmful. I feel that words of encouragement are viewed as weak in our hunt-kill-eat society. Many books dealing with the scars that grown men have discuss retreating to nature and taking part in a more simplistic lifestyle. There's something to be said of that. I believe that hardwired into all men is a primeval urge to subdue the Earth and rule it. Where that desire is not visible in a man, I attribute that to the values or environment in which they were raised. It's somewhere deep down there...it's just been covered up. Simply put, engaging nature isn't the end all be all.
Let me be clear. I'm not advocating raising pansies. Hunt. Kill. Eat. That's all good stuff. There is a time to say, "Suck it up! Deal with the pain and keep moving!" However, I also think there's a time to speak words of reassurance and encouragement. The word encouragement keeps coming up and that's because I believe it's so central to healthy communication. Even Jesus, that guy who was God in the flesh, got the ol' pat on the back from his Dad on the day he got baptized. Jesus is a grown man at the age of 30. Well past childhood. He can tie his own tunic and strap his own sandals. He meets up with this cousin John at the Jordan River so that he could get baptized. John does the deed after some convincing and when all was said and done, Jesus' Dad looks on him and sent him a dove. Kind of like a "Congratulations on your baptism, my boy!" gift...not really, but you get the idea. His Dad then said these words: "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Yeah, that's just cool.
It's tragic to hear of how often grown adults are wounded by lack of positivity in their childhood. It's not a fun place to be. The pressure to continually prove oneself just so that someone might look and sincerely say "Well done!" is immense. I remember one time as a kid where I was helping my dad work on the guest bathroom at our house. My dad, being the frugal genius that he is, decided that rather than painting the walls and watching them get dirty only to be painted again years down the road, he'd throw up these faux tile sheets of paneling. These things came in 4' x 8' sheets and apparently would be really easy to wipe down when they got dirty. Well, I got a job that involved more than handing him tools. I got the job of measuring the sheets so that they could be cut. Big! In retrospect, this might have been my dad's non-verbal way of saying "I think you have what it takes to take a more active role in helping me." After all the faux tiles sheets were up and my dad and I looked over the work of our hands we saw that it was good. It was only later that I heard from my sister that Dad was in fact impressed with how precise and accurate my measurements were. That was a rare treat and it made my day! my week! my month! my year! Sure, it would've been a true maraschino cherry on top if those words came directly from him to me. The fact that I heard something was cool enough for me at the time. To hear that maybe, just maybe, I could roll with the big dogs and had what it takes to tough it out. It's just an example of how awesome it is for a young kid to hear words that build up.
I'm not at where I need to be with regard to my words and my silence. I have a long ways to go. I need people around me to call me out when I fail as I'm bound to do. The words we speak must be guarded and our tongue must be put under submission. Just as important, our silence must be dissolved when neceessary and words that have the power to create must not be withheld.